he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
