you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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