no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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