Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
