Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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