I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize