i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
