i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
