i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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