My nipple is on Facebook.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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