the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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