what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
