THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she pinky promised me she was 18
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Fuck me I smell like cheese
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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