Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
