I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
