What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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