tell your sister to shave her snatch
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize