alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
