how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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