Got a toothbrush?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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