I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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