You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
