Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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