hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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