Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So much rum. So many feels.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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