I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
