Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
