What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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