Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
