at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
