every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
