@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
pray to the hookup gods
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
