That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
