You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
