She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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