Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
