Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
