I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Randomize
