I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
