turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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