he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
