I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
