it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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