Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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