Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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