the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
