She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
