escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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