She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
