I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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