There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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