wrigley field is MILF paradise
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
