you have to choose: penises or morals?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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