He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
