Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
