i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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