They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
