Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
