She is in my trunk
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
