He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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