Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
