So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Let's get the cat blown out
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
