Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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