I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
